Trans men and lesbians again

Kay, so if you're a trans man, you probably know about the controversy about trans men dating lesbians. That lesbians obviously don't like men, so why date trans men? Because they see them as girls, right? They fetishize us and our bodies, and don't really see us as men. They are all selfish like that.
You know what I think? It really isn't always like that.
Yeah, there are cases where that does happen, but those are the infamous chasers that manipulate trans people for their parts and treat them like objects. Those people are not worth anyone's time because they are selfish scum. This is about normal(as in, not creepy chaser) women who identify as lesbians and date trans men, I mean HOW DARE THEY?!
But you know what? Just as you can be offended that such a women could call herself a lesbian, remember that there are people, gay and straight, who are offended by us calling ourselves men. We all know that nobody can tell us what to call ourselves, and that's exactly what this is. It's telling people how to identify in order to make YOU more comfortable. Sexuality can be fluid, you know. If she loves this man, she probably has guilt over it, and doesn't need you to harass her for it. Ever think that maybe she only calls herself a lesbian because lesbians themselves have a reputation for being prejudice of bisexual people? Maybe she does consider herself homoflexible, which technically she would be, but prefers the word lesbian. Who are you to judge when you don't know? As long as she respects a trans mans identity, treats him as all man, no exceptions, I think she's entitled to call herself whatever she wants. I realize this may cause problems if you as a trans man have trouble passing. People might think you two are a lesbian couple. If this is the case, you will know whether she respects you and is worth your time if she stands up for you and asserts that you are male. If she doesn't, she possibly cares more about her label than you, so get the hell out. And you know the minute she calls you a "she" it won't work out. But come on, give her a chance!
Think about it, a girl who calls herself a lesbian might be dating a man, it happens. He may be cis or may be trans, not like you would know. You might say shes not a lesbian, that she's made an exception, whatever. And THEN YOU FIND OUT HE'S TRANS. And then what do you say?!
"Oh you're just dating him because you think of him as a girl and you want his body"
If you are thinking this, then congratulations, you are judging the man and invalidating him more than this woman is. You're thinking thoughts about his junk that you wouldn't if he weren't trans.
I think a reason that self identified lesbians may like trans men maybe because they like men, but prefer vagina or like the idea of a man's female past. And you know what? That's okay. Because we all have preferences. This is no different than wanting a guy for the size of his dick, or because of his build. Mentally, you want a partner whos past and personality are appealing to you, right? That's the thing, it's the past. You are known as a man now, and forever. You know that, and as long as she knows that, you're good! She might be dating you out of curiosity. But once she realizes that you are a man and not a female, the relationship will end in respect to your identity. No long term damage done.

I'm just tired of people hating on lesbians all the time. I don't like the idea of lesbians dating trans men for their parts anymore than you do but I think some people should just be given a chance to explain themselves before you call them a disgrace. And that's why I wrote this. You don't have to agree with me, but I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here.

*There are only two situations when it is offensive to call yourself a lesbian when you date trans men. If you think dating a trans man 'doesn't count' as being in a straight relationship, it does, and you are erasing his identity to make yourself feel more legitimate, which is wrong. If you publicly say you would date people of the 'female sex' meaning cis girls and trans men, it is cissexist and erasure of trans women, especially since there are trans women who have vaginas. There are better ways to describe your attractions without erasing people.